Yankees Joke

A Yankee fan and a Red Sox fan met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The Yankee fan bet the Red Sox fan $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the Red Sox fan replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the Yankee fan gave the Red Sox fan the $50 he owed.

The Red Sox fan said "I can't take this, you're my friend".

The Yankee fan said "No! A bet's a bet".

So the Red Sox fan said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money".

The Yankee fan replied "well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

Yankee hilarity and longevity

Did anyone see Giambi steaming into second base last night on a hit that rattled around the left field foul line for about a half hour? HE DIDN"T MAKE IT! He was so tired out from the run and trying to keep his tongue in his mouth that he flopped on his belly about 16 feet before the base and was tagged out. Don't miss it. MandTMD were in stitches.

Mike and the Mad Dog agree: Damon is always hurt and is a liability in the lineup. How many more years on that contract?

I don't get it. How can they have no pitching? Where did all that money go? And what are they going to do when April-Rod cools off, which he will. Or has he already?

Never count the Yankees out. But this year their situation seems more dire.

I love Mike and the Mad Dog.

Where E'er You Walk

Where'er you walk
cool gales shall fan the glade.
Trees where you sit
shall crowd into a shade.
Where'er you tread
the blushing flowers shall rise,
and all things flourish
where'er you turn your eyes.

From Semele, by Handel.

Love it. Love the music, too, which I am unable to find.

Sheryl Crow, Crusader for the environment

I've resisted saying anything much about this ditz and her friend, Ms. David, because it's been well-covered elsewhere. But her concert contract is priceless. "What day of the week is it?" "I dunno. What's she drinking?"

The Winner!

The other Jordin, moments before dehorning. Last night's AI was too bewildering for me, so we'll have to wait 'til next week to update the standings when two, count 'em, two, contestants are voted off. Charity night one week, cruelty night the next.

What Happens to Bad Dogs

Stupid Dog

Panda ran off yesterday while we were fencing. He was afraid I was going to make him do some work, or something. Last seen he was headed from Donnie's trailer toward McCracken's. I fiured I'd see him at home when I was done. Wrong. Stupid Dog. Did a quick search of the neighborhood. No Dog. Fed the cows. Still no dog. Mom and I searched through the evening. Mom went out, one last time, desperate, at 7:30. About to give up, she turned into Adam's Farm and there was Panda, sitting in our parking space, dirty and trembling.

Stupid Dog.

All I have to say is....

Sweep!!!!

Four homers in a row. Only done once before off one pitcher.

"Dude. Wyncha mix in a walk."*



*credit where it's due. It was Joe Morgan's line.



Someone's gonna say, " yeah, well, we swept you five last year." They need to be reminded of the greatest sports choke of all time, and the fact that the MFYs haven't won a championship since last century.

Coco! Cora! Minky!

What? No one saw the game last night? I fully expected to see SOMETHING in this space when I got up. I told ya, girls are a waste of time.

My thoughts:

A(pril)-Rod is smokin'. The question is whether he can become October-Rod and whether NY fans will turn on him if he doesn't.

Flaherty and Kay spent the entire time talking baseball. A lot was said, some of which I didn't agree with, but it was 99% baseball talk. No promos for reality dating games. I haven't seen the postgame yet, but it will be the same way. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.

I'm glad we were able to install Minky at first for the MFYs. Coco's triple wasn't hit that hard, but Minky had sense enough to play out of position. Myers did his job, too.

The two caught-stealings could have been big. Why take yourself out of an inning?

I like having the two Japs on the team. After the game, there are white guys, black guys, latin guys and oriental guys smiling and shaking and slapping and bowing. Nice. Thanks, Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey.

Wanna know more about the game? Skip the MSM. Read Schilling's blog. If I were Schaughnessy, I'd be scared, too.

If only...

...someone had had a gun. Someone other than the lunatic. But, no. It was a gun-free zone. Except it wasn't, quite. http://abcradio.com/article.asp?id=389928&SPID=15663

"The logic behind this attitude baffles me, but I suspect it has to do with a basic difference in worldviews. Some people think that power should exist only at the top, and everybody else should rely on "the authorities" for protection."

Sighanora, Sanjaya. See ya.

Sanjaya gets his comeuppance after a perfectly dreadful version of a perfectly dreadful song. At least it was age appropriate which is more than I can say for the middle-aged Ms. Raitt's rendition.

Arnold, who is on vacation at Myrtle Beach, has a stranglehold on first. Scott is five points behind and will pick up two when Philip goes. The rest of us are floundering.

Arnold 12
Scott 17
Mom 18
Me 20
Claire 22
Luke/Laura 24
Caleb 26

Panda loves the snow!

The best thing about a snowy day is watching Panda enjoy it.


He sniffs for squirrels tunneling under the snow . . .



. . . and searches overhead in case they're lurking in the snowy branches:


Also, he plays snowplow. Here he comes . . .


. . . and there he goes!

Atypically nasty weather

It's a winter wonderland . . .


. . . except that the first day of spring was almost 4 weeks ago.

See that lump in the center of the picture? That's my 10-foot-tall lilac bush. Or should I say, erstwhile 10-foot-tall lilac bush!

James finds a new route to Syracuse

Pack your flippers!

WOW!

I just sold a Dave Mason songbook on Ebay. It has 11 songs in it. It has some wear and the cover is separated from the innards. I paid $2.95 for it in 1971ish. It sold for $42.55! What a shock!

Don't believe me? The Ebay item # is 270107837524

Hell, It's Haley.

I'm gonna miss Haley. She really tried.

Arnold solidifies his hold on first place.

Arnold 11
Scott 15
Cassie/Claire 17
Tom 18
Laura/Luke 20
Caleb 22

Pictures of States

Here.

Calf-Naming contest

I need a name for Juliet's heifer calf. She has a sister named Delilah. The Grandmother is Julep. No limits on entries. I am the sole arbiter. Winner gets 5 dollars.

Cleverness, cuteness, shortness and related to the Mother's name in some way are all desirable qualities.

Go for it.

Big Papi and Little Papi

John Papelbon is something else. David Ortiz is too. Schilling ain't so bad either.

Beware of Peeps Bearing Gifts

In celebration of Easter, here is a story about a Peeps diorama contest run by the Binghamton newspaper. Maybe something got into the water after all those years of holding Odyssey of the Mind States in Binghamton.

Daniel F.'s Cat

Click to enlarge, if you dare. Hat tip: Tim Blair

Baseball Thoughts

Mike Myers, the pitcher, is Joe Torre's long lost son. Really. Line 'em up, side by side.

Matsuzaka has a great face and a winning smile. I was lukewarm to having him join the Red Sox. But he's growing on me. Also, he fields his position well. I like JD Drew, too. I like these rural guys (Papelbon) who spend their time hunting in the offseason.

I really like the Yankees announcers. Jerry and Don are fine and funny, but the Yankees announcers are really baseball people and very serious. Lots of good analysis and no more biased than the RS. Also, I'll take YES over NESN. The endless promos on NESN are tiresome. The babes are nice, too, but they take it all more seriously on YES. Michael Kay has a great voice.

If you haven't checked out 38pitches yet, I highly recommend it. Schilling is unique and special. His writing is far more interesting than what you'll find on the sports pages.

Incredible win today for the Yankees. I'd have preferred that they lose, but I'm happy for ARod. He is a great player (like it or not) and the fans there won't get off his back. In four games, the Yankees starter has made it through the fifth inning only once. And why is Brian Cashman considered such a great baseball guy? Why isn't he able to construct an omnipotent team with the resources he's given? Just asking.

Typically nasty weather

12 degrees at 0430. It snowed yesterday. In Cincinnati.

Joey and Ellen and Brenda and Adrian had a good weekend

And Joey had a really, really, really good weekend. Here is the proof, in an article about last weekend's Michael Harms festival. And because the Evening Sun never keeps these things up for long, here's the full text:

Sherburne-Earlville drama club excels in theatre festival

Published on: Friday, April 6, 2007

SHERBURNE – On Sunday, April 1, the Sherburne-Earlville High School Drama Club took part in the Michael Harms Theatre Festival at the Civic Center in Syracuse. They performed two one acts from their fall show, including “Always” which was directed by Ellen Fagan and “Any Minute” which was written and directed by Joe Mettler. Several students were recognized with awards and scholarships for their abilities. Individual Commendation Awards were given to Justine Cameron for her performance in “Always” and to Joe Mettler for writing, directing and acting in “Any Minute,” and to Mark Wessing for his sound and lighting on the whole production. Shayna Andrews received the IATSE (International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees) Scholarship for her excellent Stage Managing abilities and Adrian Enscoe received the NYSTEA (New York State Theatre Education Association) Scholarship for his characterization of Paulie in “Any Minute.” The Anonymous Scholarship went to Joe Mettler for writing, directing and acting in “Any Minute.” Joe received a huge amount of praise from the adjudicators for the play he wrote, including their help in contacts for publishers for his play. They compared the style of his play to Samuel Beckett's “Waiting for Godot” and suggested that he get the play published, saying that there are many colleges and theatre groups across the country who would love to work on this kind of performance piece! Sherburne-Earlville was also honored to receive the Award of Excellence for overall excellence in their production at the festival.

Director Colleen Law-Tefft said, “I believe that this is the largest amount of awards we have ever received at this festival in the seven years that we have attended. We have never won the Award of Excellence. They only give out five scholarships and we received three of them!”

Law-Tefft also pointed out that this was a busy weekend for most of her students since the majority of them had competed on Saturday at the Odyssey of the Mind State Competition in Binghamton and had their spring band and chorus concert also on the Sunday. ”All of these students, regardless of being recognized, are incredibly creative and handled themselves like professionals!”

Students who attended were Joe Mettler, Adrian Enscoe, Justine Cameron, Brenda Hoefler, Ellen Fagan, Mark Wessing, Shayna Andrews, Eric Robertson, Rachel Walters, and Chris Dushko.

Hidden Pictures

Can you find the kitty in this picture? It's there . . .

Mars heating up

Some of our CO2 has found its way to Mars. Not only are we killing the earth, but we're killing the entire solar system!

The Left is Angry

Al Gore fans get Ugly.

Nothing like a little peaceful multicultural homophobic mysogyny.

Gina Glocks Out

Did you know that Gina Glocksen is an anagram for tongue ring?

Poor Gina sang well on Tuesday. At least better than two or three of the others, but as it so often happens on AI, she got voted off. How's that for a sentence?

Scott and Claire are the only two who have their top four still in the competition, and Arnold is the only one who has had two of his bottom three voted off.

Sanjemima has a following of teenyboppers, apparently. Phillip is hard to kill. Haley's got legs.

The standings with eight remaining:

Arnold 10
Scott 11
Cassie 13
Claire 14
Dad 15
Laura/Luke 16
Caleb 18

Dutcher's Auto Parts, Morrisville

If you like a little attitude with your crappy service, this is the place you want to go. If you like it when businesses don't have what they say they have, but they can get it and it's gonna cost you more than if they had it, and if you like it when they say they'll call you when it comes in and then they don't, go to Duthcher's. I won't bore you with the details, but they are available on request.

Buy locally, get screwed.

God, I love the internet. Thanks, Al.

2 HUGE events in my life...

1.) I just got a Red Sox hat! This is pretty much my first hat ever. Ruth and Andrew, always alert to the plight of the big-headed, discovered a fitted hat at YawkeyWayStore.com that comes in sizes up to and including XXXXXL (that's 5 Xs), and bless their (collective) heart, they bought me one. It fits very nicely. Here it is, crooked in both directions at the same time, magically:




2.) I just made a helluva lot of chicken fried rice, and it's delicious. I made enough to last me days, even weeks. It has carrots, onion, green pepper, snap peas, and celery in it. I'm psyched. Recipe available upon request.

How did I survive the winter?

I can't stand having to wait more than a few hours in between Red Sox games.

A League of Her Own

Jonah Goldberg:

Renowned metallurgist Rosie O’Donnell proclaimed on TV last Thursday that Sept. 11, 2001, was a more significant date than most of us realized. It was, in her words, “the first time in history that fire has ever melted steel.”

This, of course, came as news to steelworkers, blacksmiths, firefighters, manufacturers of samurai swords, and other fools who hadn’t realized that steel is forged in magic furnaces using dragon breath and pixie dust.

AI

Where would Taylor Hicks and Catherine Mcphee be in this year's American Idol? The trio of Melinda Lakisha and Jordin knock me out and I don't believe last year's winner and runner-up would be able to withstand the competition.

But I am tired of melinda's "who, me?" expression when she receives a compliment. She's almost thirty. Time to realize how good you are, kid.

Remember Bucky? Ace? The little minx? Much superior talent this year.

S-E Odyssey Sends 2 Teams to Worlds!

The scores are here: http://nysoma.org/tournament/archive/2007/2007nysomaresults.htm

Mrs. Pfohl's team is going again and this time Mrs. Longman's DIV II team is going. Both are in The Large and Small of It. Woot!

Baseball! Spring!

Someone you know DID go to a spring training game! Right here in Philadelphia! 30 vet students, friends and family went to Saturday afternoon's Matsuzaka-fest at Citizen's Bank Park, and had a great time. I took in a little batting practice and watched Matsuzaka warm up in the bullpen. I dragged Kate with me. She found batting practice a little boring. The game itself was great - Papi and Tek put home runs in our section, Matsuzaka looked great, even when he gave up runs. Philly fans REALLY hate JD Drew. They booed his every movement. Sadly, the Sox pulled all the starters pretty early in the game, and most of us just took the rest of the game to enjoy sitting in the sun. Sorry no pictures. While I had a bird's eye view of Matsuzaka & Tek warming up I realized I should have brought a camera, but...I didn't.

Today is of course Opening Day, and the Sox were disappointing. You can't lose 7-1 to the Royals on Opening Day with Curt on the mound. Lots of good baseball going on though. I'm watching Felix Hernandez pitch in Seattle right now, and he's just amazing. Red Sox gotta get some guys like that.

Today was one of the nicer days we've had this spring, so I took advantage of a relatively short day of class to get out on my bike for the first time. It was gorgeous and fun. Now I'm actually sitting in a lecture for my business certificate that's actually very interesting, but I had the laptop out to watch the Red Sox lose, so i figured I'd write a little too. I should go back to paying attention for at least a little while.

Curt Schilling's blog

http://38pitches.com

I've always been a little suspicious of Curt Schilling, mostly because he is such a blabbermouth. But, I"m coming around. He has started a blog, in case you haven't seen it, that is unlike anything I've ever seen in the sports arena. He fields hundreds of questions from fans, and responds to them at some length, thereby, he says, communicating with the fans without the idiots from the media distorting what he says. His replies are respectful, literate, and detailed. How he has time for it, I know not.

Apparently he has a feud going with Dan Schaughnessy of the Globe. Schaughnessy wrote a column viciously mocking Schilling, his blog, and his "fanboys" a few days ago. It made me wonder why Schaughnessy became a sportswriter.

Considering Schilling's charity work, the things he says, the way he says them, his family and his beliefs, his work ethic and the bloody sock, I'm won over.

There's also a blog called www.soxandpinstripes.com with writers from the rival factions, but I wasn't impressed the one time I checked it out. I'll have another look.

It's opening day for the Red Sox. I'm starting to get up for it. I wonder if anyone we know went to a spring training game.